I've been Sucker Punched. Next up, a cold shower...

I imagine Zack Snyder snorting a line of coke before shouting “action!” I have imagined him doing coke even before viewing Sucker Punch and now I’m damn sure that he does indeed snort coke. Sucker Punch is a deeply flawed film fueled by poor dialogue, a simple plot and a clichéd story. It’s an evolved women-in-chains flick and wired like the mind of a teenage boy: an exercise in masturbation while flipping through the latest Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog and playing a video game... with a joystick. That said I turned off my frontal lobe as the lights dimmed at the IMAX. Now producing less dopamine, my brain allowed me to sink into my dark precipitous carnal core. I let go of my ego and super ego; this was going to be a wild ride on the id.

If The Brotherhood of the Wolf is broken down into 3 different films it could be considered a poor period piece, a horrible horror flick or a mediocre martial arts film. Instead it was a highly enjoyable film. Who knew that mash-up would work? It did and to that I say bravo. Sucker Punch has the same elements. Granted, in the Snyder universe the elements behave much different and are much more unstable.

Snyder’s protagonist is a 20 year old woman known only as Baby Doll (Emily Browning). She looks more like a 12 year old Nabokov character; a pigtailed blonde with a consistent pouty expression even when she’s killing the bad guys. Sent to a mental asylum for the accidental killing of her younger sister, Baby Doll breaks her mind from reality and creates a fantasy world in which she is the newest member of a, excuse me, brothel. Needless to say, that’s a fantasy of a man. The fantasy doesn’t stop there. Things are not going well in the brothel (go figure) so she creates another fantasy in which she and her fellow patients/prostitutes are an elite commando unit kicking ass on monster samurais, World War I German soldiers, demons, dragons and cyborgs all the while in combat ready lingerie. What’s not to love?

I’m glad you asked.

Snyder felt it was very obvious to show the audience that Baby Doll is 20 years old at the same time making her appear as if she was 12. Was it a nod to the male of the species that it’s okay to lust after her without feeling guilty? Her combat outfit was that of a Japanese influenced sexy school girl; like something out of a soft porn Manga. If you’re familiar with Japanese Manga, you’ll know that the artists prefer to draw big round eyes for their characters. That’s Baby Doll, a live Manga character and I feel dirty.

I'm cute, sexy and I pout. Don't call me Lolita because I'll kick your ass.

I know a lot of critics will pan Sucker Punch. Their reasons will be that it’s offensive or stupid or both. A few brave souls will say Snyder is a genius. For me, they’re both right and both wrong. I loved this film for all the wrong reasons. I make no apologies and neither does my highly satisfied id. The visceral experience overwhelmed my senses and left me asking myself, “Is Sucker Punch barely legal exploitation or post-millennium-girl-power-feminism?” You’ll have to see it for yourself to answer that but just when you know what the answer is, you’ll be wrong. Or should I say Sucker Punched?